I so suck at crocheting

There's no other way to say it.

My friend L had the coolest, most beautiful scarf on the other night. It was brown with purple and green fringy stuff - it would have cost like a million dollars in the store. My rooommate N and I found out L made it herself! For $8 of yarn. So of course we came over the next day to learn to crochet too. We'll have as many scarves as we want, in every color imaginable! We can make all our Christmas presents! We can sell them on ebay! We can rule the world!

Suffice it to say that although we started at the exact same time, N's scarf is roughly the length of a football field while I am still on my fourth or fifth row. I mean, it's really probably like my 20th row, but there are only 4 or 5 actual rows that actually EXIST since every so often I notice there are way too many loops or not enough or something and I have to tear it all out. OK, mine has more rows than that, but seriously it's about 7" long -- N's is almost a scarf already. "I think I'll be done with this one tomorrow!" she said perkily, absentmindedly typing a paper and plucking her eyebrows while her fingers nimbly wove three inches of scarf every ten seconds or so. Sigh.

Apparently I come from a long line of people who bite at this stuff. Neither of my grandmothers knew/know how to knit or crochet. My mom says she learned how to knit and forgot three times. I can vouch for this, as last year she tried to "teach" me to knit at Christmas time:

Mom: OK, see you go like this, then you put it over here...no, wait. OK, start over. You loop around, here you go, now I've got it..wait a second here....this silly thing.
Me: What are you doing?
Mom: I'm just starting it off here for you. It's called "chaining." See, first you have to start it off and then you knit from that.
Me: Um, OK. Do you know how to start it off?
Mom: Of course I do! See, I'm doing it, here, OK, now where does this string go? Oh, I'm all mixed up. Anya, I'm no good at this stuff! Do you know I learned to knit and forgot three times?
Me: Yes.
Mom: OK, well anyway, just let me do it myself for a minute and then I'll remember. OK, take your yarn like this...
Me: Like this?
Mom: Yes -- no. Let me see. Yes.
Me: Two strings hanging down?
Mom: No, two strings?! Why would you have two strings hanging down? What, this extra one's just hanging out there? You only have ONE.
Me: Oh, OK. I thought you had two.
Mom: OK, let me go back to my own needles now and show you how to go...
Me: You have two strings!
Mom: I do? Oh, yeah, I guess I do. Yeah, well, I mean, well, you need two strings.
Me: Maybe I could get this plant here to teach me....

At this point we wisely gave it up.

So! It is apparent that I have no natural talent for crocheting. I actually have what would appear to be a severe learning disability for crocheting. However, I am determined to make a go of it. My scarf, though it doesn't strictly have the same NUMBER of loops on every row (the Nazis were really into everything all neatly in a row, you know), is going to be very very pretty. It's blue and sea-foamy green and turqoisy with a hint of light purple. It would cost many dollars in the store. So ha! By this time next(leap)year, I'll be sportin' it proudly.