I do not like cats at all and I also hate them

I don't like cats, at all. No sirreee, I do not like them. I also don't like it when people try to make me hold their cats or like their cats or usually even share zip codes with their cats. Why do they want me to do this?

If I had something you hated (like telemarketers) and you told me you hated them, or even were actually allergic to them, would I say, "I know you hate telemarketers," while inexplicably trying to make you cradle the phone in your lap and continue blithely and cheerfully, "...but MY telemarketer is not like OTHER telemarketers. In fact, MY telemarketer is really not like a telemarketer at all."? What if this very thing happened a lot to you in connection with telemarketers and their owners and in fact you had heard many variations of "Trust me, my telemarketer is a unique telemarketer. Actually, my telemarketer is like the anti-telemarketer."? Wouldn't you be the slightest bit suspicious? Wouldn't you wonder how it is that almost everybody's telemarketer is allegedly not at all like the usual telemarketer? And when, against all odds, it turned out that their telemarketer was much like every other telemarketer you'd had the good fortune to meet, such that the non-usual type of telemarketer was actually so common that it was, by definition, the usual telemarketer, wouldn't that just confirm for you that you really do not like usual telemarketers, non-usual telemarketers, or any telemarketers at all?

Before I begin to digress, let's focus on my main point, the essence of which you have no doubt grasped. I don't like them. They are evil, they are hateful (and they hate you too, by the way -- except me --- they love me), they are stuck-up, they do nothing useful (unless you call leaving plague-infested roadkill on your front porch "useful"), they cause lacerations and death, they shed every last one of their hairs every day and grow it all back at night, and they make weird annoying noises.

In addition to all the excellent supporting sentences I have added to my topic sentence: I am allergic to your furry friends (I'm not sure how they became yours, but they're certainly not mine, so anyway) to boot, such that they make my throat itch, and eyes water, and my nose run, and I can't BREATHE very well around them. I realize that I am hopelessly high-maintenance in that I like air to go in and out of my lungs, freely, all day, day in and day out.

I also realize that starting out a blog with a post about how much I hate cats might immediately alienate half of my loyal audience. However, when you consider that: 1) I don't have an audience at all; 2) I only started this blog so I could comment to someone ELSE's blog; and 3) I don't like cats, it actually makes sense to begin as I have. Anyway, there you go. I should add, though I hate to admit it, that I have had a couple of cats that I liked OK. (Crock pot thing, really easy. You can have the recipe.)